Governments Claim Timeshare Rights in Melting Arctic

It's staggering to think of the ramifications of what this article reports on. A new land rush of governments to claim waterways and land for when you humans melt all that ice up on top (and bottom) of your planet. Just think, a timeshare on the beach with imported GMO palm trees planted outside a wonderful fake plastic igloo condo building! Now that's a place to party, eh? One giant step for mankind...

Sleep well. - Maltok 5

From OnThe Commons.org

Reclaiming a True Global Commons in the Arctic Melt

Posted by Kathryn Milun on Wed, 05/09/2007 - 1:22pm

New territorial claims on islands and sea-routes emerging as the Arctic icecaps melt might make you laugh if you could forget the last 500 years of Euro-American expropriation and colonization. (See “Arctic Ice Melts Create New Land Rush” by Robert J. Miller, May 7, 2007.) With global warming we have a ludicrous display of national patrimony along with the usual international theft. Denmark, Canada and Russia are dispatching warships to hoist flags on frozen tundra. Bottles of brandy have been buried as proof of discovery and claim. The U.S. is also making claims in the region on behalf of an international community eager to see the emerging waterways as “neutral,” open access global commons whose assets are ready for the taking by First World nations and multinational corporations. Folks, what is this nonsense of flag raising and bogus international commons all about?

In the wake of global warming there is a vast water and land grab now taking place under the guise of international law. Who are the rightful owners of the right-of-way, resources, and wealth potential now surfacing along with the disastrous effects of global warming in the Arctic region? Can the legal tradition of a global commons be invoked at the international level to secure justice in this new domain? [more]

Greetings Earthlings, Puppies and All Omnivores

I am Maltok 5, ruler of all Earth and several other C grade planets nearby. I was kicked out of the Supreme Council on my home planet after running several grifting scams that went awry and landed me in dutch with what your Earth president calls the "Guv'mint."

I have been esconced in my secret bunker here on Earth (timeshares available... please email for details) for 100,000 of your Earth years. It has been my pleasure and sworn duty to watch over this planet and report back to my Guv'mint whether or not Earth should be converted to a new interplanetary timeshare. (Are you sensing a theme here?) So far, I've held them off from such a thing, as it would make all of you humans into the equivalent of plankton for the tables of visiting travelers.

So, to that end I have seeded many of the things you all claim to be your technological "revolutions." Things like velcro, processed cheese, staple guns, Yanni and a host of other things in the hopes you folks would start evolving quicker. So far, it's not working so great. Oh, I also "did it" with a bunch of monkeys a LONG time ago, and now you know how the "great leap forward" occurred.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to introduce myself a bit, so you could get to know me before the impending annihilation of all you know and love.

Be good and try to keep your nose clean.

LOL,
Maltok 5